BY JOHN M. BERNARDONI – 2/15/2010©
This was the official program cover for the world premiere of the film on July 11, 1982 at the Paramount Theatre in Austin, Texas. The film starred Burt Reynolds, Dolly Parton, Charles Durning, Dom DeLuise, Jim Nabors and Robert Mandan and Lois Nettleton among others. Burt, Dolly, Charles, Jim attended. Universal Pictures and RKO Pictures were the primary producers. The film was based on the smash hit Broadway musical penned by Larry King.
“Rumour spreadin’ a-’round in that Texas town ’bout that shack outside La Grange
and you know what I’m talkin’ about. Just let me know if you wanna go
to that home out on the range. They gotta lotta’ nice girls ah”….
ZZ Top’s hit song “La Grange”
There were several pivotal moments in the Paramount’s history – any one of which could have scuttled the project to save, restore and rejuvenate the theatre as one of the country’s top performing venues. The law we had declared unconstitutional by the Texas Supreme Court overturning an unfair tax on ticket sales that non film venues did not have to pay. Almost being black balled by Actors Equity Association due to the poor conditions in the dressing rooms and the subsequent $120,000 grant from the City of Austin using HUD money. The Department of Commerce’ Economic Development Agency granting $1.85 million over 2 years with the help of then Congressman J.J. “Jake” Pickle and then governor Dolph Briscoe. And a Broadway show and motion picture about an infamous house of ill repute in La Grange, Texas called the Chicken Ranch. The latter was not a problem but an opportunity from out of left field.
In November of 1980, I received a call from the producer of “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” enjoying a spirited and profitable run on Broadway. The show had been choreographed by Texas favorite son Tommy Tune and Thommie Walsh, book by Larry King and direction by Peter Masterson. She wished to rent the Paramount for a month to bring the national touring version of the show to Austin for 32 performances. Ring the Pavlov’s dog bell. Slobber city. It was an incredible boon for the Paramount to have such a prestigious production. In the history of the Paramount – going back to 1915 to the present – I am confident in saying there has never been production that did a four week run. And man did we need the rent and concession income. The best part is we had no risk as this was a rental. All 32 performances sold out in a week. Believe me that was a feat because in those years we were using “hard tickets” printed by a ticket printing company in advance. There was no computerized ticketing available to us. That means our tiny box office staff had to organize, sort 1300 and handle reserved tickets x 32 performances – manually. That would be 41,600 tickets!
The show crushed – a colossal mega hit. The Chicken Ranch had been a part of Texas lore for 25 years. I knew about it but would never have had the guts to go. The subject matter was in the DNA of most Texans – at least the male kind. The buzz was like a range fire during a Texas blue norther. I had hundreds of friends I never knew were friends calling me for good seats or comps. Happily, I could defer to the wicked Broadway producer who would not give a comp to her mother – seriously. There’s an unwritten rule that everyone – and I mean everyone – pays for their tickets including producers, managers, agents, press agents, actors and directors outside the show and other industry leaders.
“The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” national tour put the Paramount on the theatrical map and gave us a powerful kick with the media and potential touring shows of note that might not have considered the theatre as a stopover in Austin. However, we were not done milking the cash cow from La Grange.
Sometime in late 1981 I was having a conversation with Liz Carpenter, Ladybird Johnson’s press secretary during the years that President Johnson was in office. I had gotten to know her a little and was impressed by her no bullshit, direct approach to life. I told her I had heard that they were going to make “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas” in to a film starring Burt Reynolds as the sheriff and Dolly Parton as the madam. I said that it would be a major coup if we could convince the producers to do a world premiere at the Paramount. Good luck on that one.
Liz, without hesitation, said that Lew Wasserman – then president of Universal/MCA (the film’s producer) – was a longtime friend of President Johnson and the Johnson family. And as an added bonus, Sid Sheinberg – the CEO of Universal/MCA – was from Corpus Christi. Liz said she would call Lew to see if it was plausible. It wasn’t very long after my conversation with Liz that she called me and said, “John, you’re in the door. Call Herb Steinberg, make an appointment and go to Los Angeles to discuss the idea with him. They’re interested”. I started to hyperventilate like a 20 year old in a Lamaze class with contractions and the works. “Breath – in and out” I told myself. I needed an epidural right that minute. Life surprises of that magnitude come at you in two ways – absolute euphoria and abject terror. I feared that I had “let my alligator mouth overload my hummingbird ass” as so articulately voiced to me on another such occasion by attorney Shannon Ratliff, one of our board presidents.
Thus, I went to Los Angeles to meet with Herb to go over my vision of the premier including special parties to which patrons could attend for varying prices depending on how big the event was to be. I have to tell you that Universal was on board in a way one would never expect of one of the greatest motion picture studios on the planet. They were wonderful to us in every imaginable way bereft of any condescension or attitude about being the big boys on the block. Oh, I failed to mention that Herb was Alfred Hitchcock’s press agent for Universal Studios at one time. He took me to an office of some legendary producer which was preserved exactly as he left it. I got to fondle one of his Oscars. The funny thing is that I can’t remember whose office it was. But it had that look which only the truly powerful surround themselves. As Jack Warner once said, “I don’t care if I make a nickel on this movie as long as every man, woman and child in America see it”.
We spent a lot of time those two days working over a legal pad worth of details covering the premiere itself, closing Congress Avenue, handling the stars and logistics, previously mentioned parties, a gala party given by Governor Clements, another party given by Austin Mayor Carole Keeton McClellan, the condition of our projection booth and on and on. One of my mentors in the business told me when I was very new to the industry, “John, the details will kill you”. He was talking about a show not a world premiere of a major motion picture.
As if the hundreds of elements weren’t enough, word had gotten back to me that Governor Bill Clements was not very comfortable with the entire notion of having Texas, the Capitol, Austin and La Grange exposed to world scrutiny over such a bawdy subject as a whorehouse movie. Governor Clements did not suffer fools. He was a tough, gritty in your face rancher and to hell with Hollywood. I let Herb know about this potentially volatile atmosphere. He said “We’re going to defang this thing right now”. Herb talked to Lew Wasserman and Sid Sheinberg who in turn talked to the Johnson family and from there to anyone who mattered in Austin. Net result – Governor Clements settled down. He was even coaxed in to giving a gala party directly prior to the actual premiere showing of the film. I ran across the actual invitation the other day. There is no mention of the name of the film. It just says – “gala benefit for the Paramount”. (See the invitation at the end of this narrative) The Governor buttonholed me at the gala party and pulled me aside saying, “John, I hope you know what this is costing me”. His face and demeanor revealed a really bad case of the “red ass”. And, he wasn’t talking about the cost of the food and drink. Still, he was a champ to go along with the “affair” which was much appreciated by everyone involved with the Paramount’s restoration and revitalization.
Jump cut and fast forward! Herb brought in some of the LA boys from Universal who were involved in actually producing the film. We all met out at the Murchison House in Pflugerville, Texas where the Mayor’s BBQ party was going to be held the night before the premiere. The Murchison House was actually a prototype standing in for the real Chicken Ranch. I never saw the real Chicken Ranch. I’m guessing that it left something to be desired, architecturally speaking. The Murchison House had that 1880’s antebellum look like one might expect to find in, oh, a film like “Gone with the Wind”. Some of the LA Universal guys had that razor cut look of perfection about them – nails done, hair coiffed, impeccable clothes, custom shoes, designer glasses and the rest. What these execs did not know, however, is that there are a number of cows meandering around the house lazily eating grass while sizing up the not Texas people in their sights. One came trundling along right towards the front porch where the Universal executives were standing. The cow might has well have been a Tyrannosaurus Rex so transfixed were the LA guys by the approaching juggernaut. One guy’s eyeballs became very glassy while another got back in the car. I think one of them actually moon walked which was before Michael Jackson “invented” the move. That’s probably where he got it. Have you ever tried to hold in a heavyweight, balls out laughing fit while keeping your face from cracking like Tommy Lee Jones’ after a bull riding session? I almost spit up from strangling the howl owing to the bizarre juxtaposition of Hollywood versus Bessie. Hell, it wasn’t even a steer. That’s what we mean by a cattle call. The Mayor’s party was like a scene out of a Roy Rogers and Dale Evans movie – gingham, socialites pretending to be Penny in Sky King, lawyers in cowboy boots (new) and big shiny rodeo belt buckles (also new). Don Strange, who catered the affair and his staff actually dressed like they were form here rather than central casting.
Speaking of socialites, Herb and I attended a meeting at the Hyatt Hotel to discuss the menu for the big after premiere party. We met with one of my board members in charge of that area due her expertise as a onetime secretary and now wife of someone with daddy’s money. The girl loved to show off the “rocks”. We adjourned for a few hours returning to actually sample the delicacies chosen for the gala. When my board member returned, Herb pulled me aside and whispered, “That’s the first time I ever saw a woman go home to change her jewelry instead of her dress.” Your basic Pi Phi gone bad!
Now let’s get one thing straight. This was not what people nowadays call a world premiere. This was a bona fide “world premiere” like they had in Hollywood in the 1930’s and 1940’s. The event was a total blowout with all the trimmings broadcast in 156 countries. All the stars came in for the premiere including Burt Reynolds, Dolly Parton, Charles Durning, Dom DeLuise, Jim Nabors and more. (As a side note, we had produced Dolly at the Paramount in 1977 when she was just starting to move up the star ladder. I believe we paid her $3000.). The City of Austin closed Congress Avenue for several blocks so that we could erect bleachers in the street facing the theatre so the fans could wave and scream at the stars. Cameras were everywhere. Excitement and anticipation floated on Congress Avenue like he mirage like haze that settles right above the asphalt on a 100 degree day on a Texas highway.
Yet, there were unheralded efforts that took place days before the actual premiere. Universal sent in an Academy Award winning engineer to overhaul and soup up our 40 year old carbon arc Century projectors so that there would be no technical glitches for this momentous occasion. I believe they brought in a Dolby sound system as well which was a good thing as our old speaker array behind the motion picture screen was from the original Phantom of the Opera circa 1930’s with Claude Rains. I can’t remember his name but he was in his 60s at least. And, he was a total gentleman going about his work on the worn out projectors like a brain surgeon. The degree of behind the scenes work that goes in to live entertainment, television and film is staggering to those of us in the industry but virtually unknown to the public. This engineer was one more unsung hero in a cast of many dedicated people. He was as attentive to our needs as if he was retrofitting projectors at Grauman’s Chinese Theatre in Hollywood – home to dozens of world premiers and legendary stars aplenty.
Finally the moment was here. I walked in to the theatre before the attendees got there and stopped in the box office to see how my staff was handling things. Dolly and Burt were sitting there shooting the breeze in our closet size workroom. It surprised me. I didn’t know they were even in the theatre. We had a short, comfortable chat and then I made my way to the lobby to greet our patrons. I saw Herb standing there and we struck up a conversation. He told me on the sly that Universal had a new film in the works called E.T. which they believed was going to knock it out of the park. Funny – he didn’t mention Steven Spielberg. We call that “foreshadowing” in the film business. Good hunch, bubby.
I took my seat and joined the fans to watch the film for the first time. The rest of the night is mostly a blur. The post premiere party was perfunctory. The male patrons, however, were doing a very good job of doubling as past customers at that little ‘ole house where all the pretty girls wait for a date.
The Paramount netted $180,000 via the parties, donations and more. That was a damn big number in 1982. It was the single biggest single fund raiser in the theatre’s history at that time – one that would not be eclipsed for many years after I left the Paramount in May of 1985.
To Larry King and all the girls and Miss Mona who really put La Grange on the map:
“My mother thanks you my father thanks you, my sister thanks you and I thank you”. George M. Cohan.
THE CHICKEN RANCH HISTORY
In 1952 the original brothel was turned over to a young prostitute named Edna Milton. After Williams died in 1961, Milton purchased the property, which she officially renamed “Edna’s Fashionable Ranch Boarding House.” Milton maintained many of Williams’ rules for the girls. They were prohibited from drinking or getting tattoos, and were not allowed to visit the bars or cafes in town. Before beginning their employment, the prostitutes were fingerprinted and photographed by Flournoy and underwent a background check. After beginning work, they were required to see the doctor in town weekly for a checkup. To encourage support from the townspeople, supplies were bought from local stores on a rotating basis. Milton also contributed to local civic causes, becoming one of La Grange’s largest philanthropists.
The Chicken Ranch was highly successful. In the 1950s the Ranch employed sixteen prostitutes. On weekends there was often a line of men, mostly students or soldiers from nearby military bases, at the door. One base supplied a helicopter for soldiers to use for transportation to the ranch. Students at Texas A&M University also made an unofficial tradition of sending freshmen to the Chicken Ranch for initiation. The Chicken Ranch was preferred because many of the girls were allegedly University of Texas students.
Each prostitute would have between five and twenty customers per day. In the 1950s, they were charged $15 for fifteen minutes The employees were required to give 75% of their earnings to Milton, who paid for all of their living and medical expenses. At its peak in the 1960s, the ranch earned more than $500,000 per year, with the prostitutes keeping an additional $300 per week for themselves.
Prostitution is not legal in Texas. In November 1972, the Texas Department of Public Safety surveilled the Chicken Ranch for two days, documenting 484 people entering the Chicken Ranch. At the request of a member of the Texas DPS intelligence team, local law enforcement closed the Chicken Ranch down for a short time. It reopened, and in July 1973 Houston television reporter Marvin Zindler began an investigation of the Chicken Ranch. Zindler claimed for many years that he began the investigation because of an anonymous tip. Twenty-five years later he admitted that the tip he received was from the office of Texas Attorney General John Hill, who believed that the Chicken Ranch was part of an organized crime ring of houses of prostitution. According to Tim James, the chief of the organized crime division in Hill’s office, Hill had requested that Oliver Kitzman, the District Attorney in charge of Fayette County, close the ranch. Kitzman refused because the people who had elected him to office wished the ranch to remain open.
James called Zindler in the hopes that the television personality could apply the right kind of pressure to get the ranch shut down. Zindler interviewed Kitzman, who admitted to knowing about the Chicken Ranch, but claimed that he had never tried to close down the brothel because “we have never had any indication by anyone that these places are a problem to law enforcement.” Sheriff T.J. Flournoy, who had overseen the La Grange area for 27 years, denied that the Chicken Ranch was involved in organized crime, and denied that he had been bribed to keep the place open. Zindler approached Texas Governor Dolph Briscoe about the matter. After a very brief investigation, which revealed that there was no evidence of a link to organized crime, Briscoe and Texas Attorney General John Hill ordered the Chicken Ranch to be permanently closed.
The actual closing was very painless. On August 1, 1973, Flournoy called Milton and told her that she was no longer allowed to operate. A handmade sign on the building blamed Zindler for the closing Flournoy then went to Austin to meet with the governor, armed with a petition opposing the closure and carrying 3,000 signatures. Briscoe refused to meet with him.
For two years after the Chicken Ranch was closed, potential customers continued to arrive. The house was purchased by two Houston lawyers. In 1977 part of the house and the original furniture were moved to Dallas, where it was opened as a restaurant, with Milton as the hostess. The restaurant closed in 1978.
